I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
