His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
