Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
