Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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