i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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