i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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