What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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