Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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