I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
