I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dignity is for republicans.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
