How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
