I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
