so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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