I just cut my nipple shaving
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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