i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
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What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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