She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
