i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.