p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.