I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
