It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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