i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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