hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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