you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
