Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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