tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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