he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
