Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
