I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
