Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
