OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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