Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
