I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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