The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Less talking, more tequila
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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