There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
