So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i now understand why vodka
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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