He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
