R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
