is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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