look no pants
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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