Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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