He is such a slut. More and more my type.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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