Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
