Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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