I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
