shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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