did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
