just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hippo gnu deer
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
