I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
