it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
