just tell him i said nine months
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
