called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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