Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
