i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
