Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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