i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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