I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize