Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
