Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
