i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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