i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
