What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
im six kinds of drunk right now
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
