I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
