the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dick very happy bro
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